SNAP ! ? !

Did the SNAP aka food stamp aka food benefits "problem" cause you difficulty this weekend?

Several states (17 ?) went "offline" with the EBT and weren't working at the registers of grocery stores everywhere. I heard many people were mad, upset and/or confused. After all, this is a help program for low income people. It's not like they can just whip out some cash....

AND if you are a blessed one that can, stop griping and judging those that have the help (or live on their income for awhile) :P

I had a crying (from the Walmart bathroom), pregnant, young lady call me because the signs on the registers at Walmart was interpreted by her that Walmart would no longer ever accept food stamps again.... ( She's MARRIED and her hubby works FULL-TIME - still thinking about judging?) ASS-U-me.

After a few website searches and phone calls, I was told that they didn't know what was causing the problem and other non-Walmart stores also had the same problem. Some worked, some didn't.....

Then a Facebook friend posted an article about the EBT center going down because THEY CHOSE to do a 'test' on the back-up power source on a SATURDAY MORNING....

You can't fix stupid!

SO, this is what we learn from this situation. NEVER totally depend on ONE SOURCE for food - or anything really. NEVER 'put all your eggs (valuables) in one basket' ... what if you trip, someone trips you, there's an earthquake and you stumble, there's a tornado and you run and drop your basket... or the government turns your basket off...

You get the idea! You can no longer TRUST baskets to protect you.

WHEN these EBT debit cards work again...I would shudder to think who might get another HUGE group of the population hating on him some more....if they do this "TESTING" again. Get staples like: flour, sugar, baking powder, salt, baking soda, soy flour(for baking egg replacement 1 heaping T.) You can make a lot of things from staples.See my sister BLOG or FACEBOOK for A PENNY SAVED ME for recipes.

In my opinion, I think people should always shop for canned goods, dry milk powder (because it doesn't require refrigeration)BTW whole in Hispanic section in my store, canned tuna, canned veggies, etc.... with at least 1/2 of the amount right away!!

WHY?

EVERYONE needs a 'back-up plan' JUST IN CASE! I also ALWAYS advise to keep 3 days worth of drinking water.

Times like these you NEED to prepare for ANYTHING.

Don't get caught with a broken basket.

Social Security??

I drove a fellow single mom to the social security office. I waited patiently, and of course I looked through all the pamphlets. GUESS what I learned?

I learned that because I had been married over ten years, I will be able to file social security on my X husband. He will never know about it (according to the document) and he can't do anything about it. Apparently, the "powers that be" think if you dealt with ten years of crap, you must deserve to get retirement help from the jerk. My paraphrasing. :)

Still young and not thinking about social security? That's okay, you will get older.....and chances are that the X hasn't paid correct (if any) child support so he still owes you. (The laws are NOT held up to court orders in OK.) You EARNED the right and privilege to file social security from your 10 years of hard labor!

The best revenge is not actual revenge but those little things that HE can't change and it happens anyway.... and when he marries a female that's worse than he is... :D

Check out your state's laws, etc because they may vary from mine. Oh, and you must not be CURRENTLY married to anyone.. it's okay if you had another marriage and divorce ( in their opinion) before you file. I seriously DOUBT I will ever marry again. "Once burnt shame on you, twice burnt shame on me...." I learned my lessons about letting some male have too much power and control over me and my life/money, heart, etc.

Here Cookie , Cookie, Cookie...

My #FATLESSDIET version of Betty Crocker's Chocolate-Oatmeal Chewies

1 1/2 cups sugar

1 cup applesauce (replaces fat)

1/4 cup skim milk

1 heaping Tablespoon soy flour (replaces egg)

3 cups quick or old fashioned rolled oats

1 1/2 cups whole grain flour (add a bit more if too wet though it will be sticky wet)

1/2 CUP baking cocoa powder

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 sea salt

Oven 350 F

Drop onto un-greased cookie sheet or pizza pan. Cook approx. 15-20 minutes or until kinda firm.

THEIR recipe with margarine/butter, egg amd milk have these stats:

1 cookie =

100 calories

5 g fat (3 sat)

15 mg cholesterol

sodium 75 mg

13 g carb (1 fiber)

2 g protein

exchanges = 1 starch,1/2 fat

I don't know all this about my version but I know it has NO FAT unless minimal from whole grain flour (look st your packages label). It has more sugar but from apples. It has more protein because of the soy. I used half the salt called for in the original recipe.

To Judge or not to Judge, that is the Question?

Single moms are needy!

Needy doesn't equal a happy place to be. Please don't judge us for it.

We don't all lead party lives - some of us didn't get this way by ourselves and certainly not by choice.

We have a heavy load on our shoulders. Pray for us, help us, or let us be.

Please don't give us more stress. We have plenty. If you don't understand why, then you aren't eligible to judge.

Invite a single mom to church. She and the kids need God and a loving church family. Remember we have been hurt and have trust issues.

Those of us who aren't widows, divorced, etc.....didn't ABORT - so don't set such a bad example that others might because they don't want to deal with all the judgmental people - you will be held partially accountable in God's eyes IMHO....

We need time to heal before we can open up our hearts, lives or trust again. You can either be part of the healing or part of the stress.

ADOPT a single mom to support, help and/or encourage.

We don't need someone to CONTROL us - we may have been in an abusive relationship.

WE are adults - we are a family - we aren't the only people who may do things wrong. All humans sin, so don't try to HELP us by "lording over us" - that's not the way you build a relationship with people.

Interesting chart about minimum wage and rent....

http://wepartypatriots.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/578228_384864858230431_595528017_n.jpg

Anyone else want to gripe about single moms now?

You work more than 40 hours a week and raise your kids by yourself and blah blah blah - and still not have enough money to pay the rent ...

So absent fathers is NOT the problem - it's ABSENT child support/compliance with the court orders/lack of the law enforcing them and the lack of decent employment in the USA.

You won't change my mind or opinion with a few rotten apples until these numbers change.

Want things to change? HELP the situation instead of walking over a female for doing her job the best she can in a messy situation. Use that voice to change the laws! Use that energy to HELP her... and the kids.... and make HIM accountable.

DO NOT pass GO! Go directly to Jail...

Do you think there is a social stigma attached to being a single mom?

Have you been treated/ judged unfairly? Told to act a certain way before help would be given?

Where are the judgments for the men? That's right... it DOESN'T happen...

It takes two to tango! But the moms are the ones raising the kids, keeping house, working, helping with school work (or teaching it), taking them to appointments (and often times church), losing her pride as she asks for help and begs the state and courts to make child support RIGHT as ordered.

So who's the bad guy? Who is the one that is stirring up this gossip about single moms? It's not the kids, I assure you... they see how much moms struggle and how much they 'make do' and they notice when child support doesn't come because 'mom has to say no' a lot more than usual.

I blame the sperm donors of course... but who else is causing this stigma? I blame the courts.

When 'they' make an ORDER and the father does NOT follow it - women shouldn't have to spend 15 hundred on a lawyer to get things sorted out or live in poverty - put the deadbeat in JAIL - soon, less sperm donors will be causing trouble because they will have a fear of JAIL.God forbid the mom do something - she's smacked on the hand immediately.

What's worse? Poverty or jail? The jail bird has everything they need...free. If you are having trouble with your X not following court orders - not just child support but harassing you - not keeping visitation schedules, etc.... start calling the Governor's office and complain that the law is NOT being kept and you're tired of it.

BTW, some people or organizations will judge me for this article. Tough - you don't live my life and you haven't been abused by my X - keep your nose out of my business.

I'm NOT the bad guy - I FOLLOW the court orders and still do my JOB.

Think about it - you want to take the person's side that is NOT following court orders.... What does that make you ?

You're angry at all the single moms living life... and still on government benefits? THEY ARE ELIGIBLE!!

Do you want to live in that income bracket? They don't either and if you spent more time looking/talking about the 'real problem' instead of judging them - they wouldn't need food stamps... now would they? Do a Google search of how much back child support is owed with the word "chart".... too many to link to.... Do some non-custodial moms not pay? Of course....but the greatest population of single parents is the female.

Need Glasses but Can't Afford Them?

"VISION USA Providing Free Eye Exams to Low-Income Americans across the U.S. More than 46 million low-income individuals in the United States cannot afford the cost of routine eye care or do not have the health insurance that covers such exams. VISION USA was established in 1991 to provide basic eye examinations to Americans in need, and is currently available in 39 states and the District of Columbia. AOA member optometrists donate their services at no cost. If you need an eye exam and do not have insurance and cannot afford one, work with your social worker, case worker, charitable organization or agency to submit an application on your behalf for VISION USA services."

Just call them .... I think it works faster that way. The last contact I had with this organization, it must have have been 2 years since your last exam.

"Single Moms for a Season "

Soldiers wives...

Should they be considered 'single moms'?

I think they need help while the father is gone serving his country. Yes, as someone mentioned to me "They have a military check coming in and he will be back." Well, You don't know for sure that check will come these days and God willing he will come back...

I met a woman in town that is helping raise her niece... for awhile. The family is having difficulty (they are a large family with some issues). I think she and grandparents raising the grandkids should also be considered as being single parents as well.

PARENTING 51 mini vacations?

Brought to you by PARENTING MAGAZINE "51 Mini Family Vacations We looked at all 50 states -- plus Washington D.C. -- to bring you a great list of fun--and cheap!--mini-vacation destinations. Plus, check out the best cruise ships for families"

Are You Sleeping, Are You Sleeping, Brother John?

How much sleep do the kids really need?

Tweets Anyone?

TWITTER 5,285 followers JOIN US! OKLAHOMA 63 FOLLOWERS - it's NEW !

Sister Blog

http://wesinglemomshelpeachother.blogspot.com/

House Sharing Website

http:/www.coabode.com 

 There's more information here besides just a list of single moms wanting to share a house. 

You must join to see lists.

SEEMS INACTIVE 

Can't tell how old the profile of mom searching is. NO messages checked. No email notifications.

I was finally able to contact a live human. They said they have a grant coming and planned on some changes.

Over a year, still seems just as inactive. Don't hold your breath.

PS they blocked me on Twitter. LOL. mature. Your welcome for all the adverts.

Survival Mode

I really felt like I'd been hit by a truck when I awoke this morning. Ever feel that way?

I had plenty of sleep and ate fairly healthy yesterday. not too much stress or worry.... ugh! I'm having a bad day I guess.

Not to worry, I'm still pretty productive even on days like these. I am still recovering from the local stomach virus/flu/whatever nasty little bug was floating by.

With all single moms must do (and a few single dads), we will eventually have a survival day. I will make sure my child is feed, clean, and gets educated. I will feed and clean up after the kids' pets when they can't and do laundry, wash dishes, etc.

I call this 'in survival mode'.

Some days, you just do what you must and what you are able then love those kids and put them to bed. Then YOU go to bed and get an extra hour of sleep. I also believe it's important to eat healthy or at least take daily vitamins. I prefer liquid form over pills. I've heard they don't always digest. I mix Carnation Breakfast Essentials chocolate mix with skim milk every morning for my vitamins.

Single moms MUST take care of themselves so that they can be good parents. I know, sometimes you just have too many things on your 'to do' list and taking care of you isn't on IT. I've been there.....

If you can do only one thing for you each day besides groom and sleep, please consider either eating healthy and/or some form of vitamins. It's helped me feel much better.

Need A Ride?

Recently, BOTH my vehicles decided to take vacations. So, I made a mad scramble to make arrangements for the single moms that I was driving to places. Thankfully they are both pregnant and one local tribal office helps expectant families.... Now what about me - yes, I am a single mom with kids in the household. I am the HELPER, so I hate to ask for help. Lesson time for me. ugh!

So I rack my brain for ideas. I finally think about the transit system available in my hometown and wonder - now why don't we have that here? We can - well it's a government program for rural communities. I did much web surfing to find everything out but it's available - at a pretty penny at this point because it's not in MY county YET. We have 77 counties and only 2 don't have this Department of Transportation transit system - lucky me. I REALLY hate this town. No taxis. Hmmmm

SO I call the BIG BOSS. I start from the top and trickle down and finally found out the DOT has tried TWICE to bring this transit system to this county but someone here (Who obviously doesn't help people or has their head in the sand up to their - well , you know, told them WE didn't NEED it. WHAT? - TWICE!! I've been driving pregant single mothers (some with kids in tow) all over town and then some for 6 years.

Yes, you guessed it. I arranged and organized a meeting with said transit system and a few leaders in the community -the ones I thought gave a darn... only half of them showed up but enough to get the need validated and a survey has been drawn up. 2k surveys are expected to verify need and where, what, when etc.... for a proposed schedule. Whew! of course I won't personally get to use this transit system - maybe, but at least it's done now. Do me and all your local single moms, elders/seniors, disabled, car-less neighbors a favor. Do a web search for Department of Transportation transit/Rural Transit system in your home state. Post the information you find @wesinglemoms on Twitter please! People who have seizures and can't drive can also use this transit system. If you drink too much - call for a ride too!

We're now on Google + for videos, comics and funny stuff

https://plus.google.com/u/0/communities/105117389480843260524

Twitter #FF

I just wanted to thank everyone that includes @WeSingleMoms on Follow Fridays. I am a homeschooling single mom and usually don't have time to get online during regular school hours. I've popped online to write on my Home School Blog, then off I go again....
Have a great Friday fellow Tweeters!

House Sharing !? DO I really want to share my space?

Let's face it moms, if child support is trickling in too slow , or in some cases not at all, and your working your butt off doing chores, raising kids, re-training them half the week after a visit with the OTHER PARENT, working/classes... somethings got to give and if we don't give ourselves a break... it will be OUR HEALTH. I speak from personal experience, we must compromise and do what's best for our financial security. I don't mean start stealing or anything like that,nope. I want  you to think about doing something that single women in South Africa have done.... SHARE YOUR HOME with another SINGLE MOTHER FAMILY.

That's the key, another single mom and her kids, NOT A GUY! He's a user if he wants to SHARE.. what a boyman. He should be offering to marry you and PAY THE MORTGAGE/RENT if he is a REAL MAN!
 Say what you want MEN, but you know it's the truth. All men over the centuries, even the bad ones are cringing at this generation of wimps and users....the TRUTH hurts. I know, I know there are some women that make me cringe too, but that's their problem. I want to help the MOMS. If you think you can do her job, then actually prove to us that you can do YOURS first.

BTW, I don't HATE men. I HATE the way many of them act - SELFISH. I honor those that are doing their jobs-helping raise beautiful LOVED kids.

NOW, back to the post........ cough cough.

 For Example... I have the honor to own a large but older home. It's a fixer- upper because that's what I do as a hobby, I never claimed not to be a bit eccentric....I embrace it!

 I've got kids leaving the nest, going to live with dad because I have RULES ... and lots of bedrooms. Vacant bedrooms and I would consider letting a single mom who has her kids, or doesn't at the moment because crap happens,to RENT a BEDROOM/S and share costs. I'M a live-in babysitter and I need some timeout too. Share cooking, bills, sitting, and ANOTHER ADULT TO TALK TO  !!!!!!

 I've let a single mom, that I've known since her birth, stay with me while she was getting her place ready. I was also prepared to let her stay the summer (kids school district isn't near) since her work is between here and there but she is sharing with her WIDOWED GRANDMOTHER. What an idea! They help each other...... That's one of my slogans  #WeHelpEachOther  ....let's face it, no one else will help because they've already pre-judged us/our situation, ashamed, too poor themselves, etc....

PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT YOU MUST BEWARE !!!!!
 ANYONE, ANYONE, that you let in your HOME/ around your KIDS, should be checked out legally and every way else possible.

My local check in Oklahoma is http://www.odcr.com
On Demand Court Records.

Get my drift here? DON'T let ANYONE in your HOME that could cause TROUBLE/GRIEF. CHECK THEM OUT and don't be afraid to turn them down.

 I recently turned down a young lady because she had some legal issues, nothing serious but on paper it looked bad. Anyway, since I STILL HAVE CHILDREN IN MY HOME, I decided we weren't a GOOD MATCH. I'm still looking...
FYI, I'm near OSU.....so something will present itself soon. 

Twitter ! @wesinglemoms

Looks like we have 4416 followers on Twitter.. THANK YOU EVERYONE !

News Media Mention

http://paper.li/dallassinglemom/1338126775?edition_id=b9307910-572e-11e2-9b06-0025907212e8
 Thanks again ...

Video/SONG

http://youtu.be/kOVcUHB5PtA
Message to single mom from son....

M-Deuce My #1 Fan feat SimmerDZ

Video/SONG

http://youtu.be/luarG07cVfM

YOU TUBE inspiring song My Declaration!

 I had this on the old Ning site... I love this song !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4qL4jCUYVo

TWEETS

BTW still tweeting... so join us @ WeSingleMoms

It Begins... WeSingleMoms BLOG

Welcome ! This is the WeSingleMoms BLOG ! 

I started this group on Facebook in 2007 and bounced off Ning to Twitter @WeSingleMoms and have finally decided this is where I want to build a nest. I hope my ramblings help you find a better path in your single mom journey! I hope that my experiences, mistakes, and lessons somehow help and or inspire you.

 I am a single mom of four children who is still living the single mom life. I'm going to blog about happenings, resources, people, places, and things that are relevant in a single mom life.This ride isn't for the faint of heart, so hold on tight! ElainaMc